


Close Calls

by IBoatedHere



Series: Undercover Lovers [1]
Category: Turn (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Modern AU, undercover agents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-05-23 04:37:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6105136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IBoatedHere/pseuds/IBoatedHere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Caleb can see the gears turning in Ben's head. He's got a reckless streak a mile wide carefully hidden under tailored suits and orderly paperwork. </p><p>Tonight he's in jeans, a t-shirt and a black leather jacket, casual in a way he isn't even on his days off. </p><p>He rips the earpiece off and hands it to Caleb. He finally reaches out and touches him, fingernails digging into buttery leather. </p><p>“What are you doing?” Like he doesn't already know. </p><p>“You think I'm his type?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Close Calls

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a convo I creeped on between Lily and Deven on Tumblr.

“He just put the flash drive in his pocket.”

“Great. Make contact and grab it. There are tons of people in here. Just accidentally bump into him and get out of there.”

“Once you have it we’ll move in.”

Ben's back is against the bar. 

Caleb's hand is on the bar right behind him, close enough to feel the heat radiating off him but not close enough to touch.

He doesn't dare. Not even now when they're undercover and different people. But God, would it be easy to do. 

“I can't do it. He's at a table surrounded by bodyguards like he's someone important or something.”

“He is important.” Ben and Caleb say that the same time.

This guy, Martin Patterson is working for a drug runner, a human trafficker, a domestic terrorist. Whatever is on that flashdrive is important. They didn't have Patterson’s name until 2 weeks ago and only got a photo a week ago and now they're all in the same room and Abe is hesitating. 

“This guy is a decoy.”

“An important decoy.” 

“Join him.”

“Listen to me when I say this, there is no way in hell this guy is not letting me in his circle. I'm not his type. How quick can we get Anna in here?”

Caleb snorts. “She's gonna love that.” 

“Or maybe Andre. He'd be good at it. If I try it's just going to raise suspicion. His guys already look on edge.” 

“It'll take too long to get them here. We let this guy go he's gone. Now or never.”

Caleb can see the gears turning in Ben's head. He's got a reckless streak a mile wide carefully hidden under tailored suits and orderly paperwork. 

Tonight he's in jeans, a t-shirt and a black leather jacket, casually in a way he isn't even on his days off. 

He rips the earpiece off and hands it to Caleb. He finally reaches out and touches him, fingernails digging into buttery leather. 

“What are you doing?” _Like he doesn't already know._

“You think I'm his type?”

Caleb thinks he's everyone's type. 

“Ben, don't.”

“I got this. It shouldn't be a problem.”

“How do I.... What do I....” Caleb flounders. He knows how to pull Abe out of a situation but there's no way Ben is going to come as easily. He wants this guy he'll get this guy or die trying, literally. 

 

Ben still has the scars to show for it. It seems that they're there to remind Caleb more than anything. 

 

Two years ago after things went to shit on a mission just outside of Cairo Caleb sat next to him in ICU for a week while Ben recovering from broken bones, fractures, bullet wounds. He spent another 2 weeks in recovery, Caleb with him the whole time. 

First time her really saw the damage was on the day they released him. He walked in as Ben was struggling to get his shirt on, much too stubborn to ask for help. 

“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to give me a hand?”

Caleb eased the shirt off him and straightened it, not looking away from the large swath of fresh, pink, tender skin running up his side or the scratches over his shoulders and down his arms, the circular scar just to the left of his heart. He froze. He hadn’t moved and Ben touched his side, gently to get him to make eye contact. 

“The nurses say most of them will fade.”

Caleb dropped the shirt and lightly touched the scar on his chest. 

“This isn't fading.”

“I'm okay.”

“If this had gone an inch to the right.”

“Well it went an inch to the left and I'm fine.” 

He grabbed Caleb's hand and pressed it hard and flat to his chest so he could feel his heartbeat, steady and strong (just like Ben) beneath his palm. 

“I'm okay.”

 

Since then Caleb's been holding Ben back by the collar to stop him from jumping without a clear place to land. 

 

It doesn't always work. 

 

Ben has broken his ankle 3 times. 

There was a two month period last year where no one was sure if he’d get his hearing fully back in his left ear. 

He has a scar from a stab wound on his right thigh. 

 

Right now he lets him slip right through his fingers and he disappears into the sea of people. 

 

“Abe, stay where you are. Ben's going in.”

“What? Why? Ben-.”

“He took his comm out.” 

“Why would he do that?” 

“Because he's an asshole. Do you see him?” 

“Keep an eye on the table, that's where he's headed, I have to move, see if I can get a vantage point.” 

“Do you want me to call for backup?”

“No. Not yet. But under no circumstances do we let Ben leave with him.” It's slow going through the club and Caleb's only made it a few feet from the bar. “Does anyone see him?” 

“I have him.” Rob breaks in. “He just grabbed a drink off a tray. He's making his way to the table. Abe you should see him in a few seconds.” 

“Got him.” 

“Where?” Caleb whips his head around wildly. 

“He's talking to the guards, just got waved in.” 

“Where is he?” 

“Back corner. Your 11.” 

Caleb hops up onto a landing and can finally see. Ben's sitting at the table in a semi circle booth. He's pressed tight against Patterson. Patterson is whispering in his ear and Ben is laughing, looking up at him through long eyelashes and taking sips from the glass he's holding making sure Patterson can see the way his throat works when he swallows. Patterson is melting, leaning closer and closer and Ben's not backing away. His hand rests on Patterson's thigh and moves up and down slowly as he speaks, lips just brushing against the side of his neck as they move. 

“How'd he learn how to do this?”

Caleb has no idea. Every time they've been out together for drinks after work and Ben's had people (guys, girls, he's everyone's type) ask if they could buy him a drink he always blushed and looked at Caleb with wide, panicked eyes before he shook the glass he was holding at them and told them he was good even if it was empty. 

“Can either of you read his lips. I'm too far.”

“It's hard. Patterson keeps getting in the way. Where is he going with this?” 

“I have no idea.” 

Caleb takes his eyes off them for a second, to check the exits when Abe’s voice crackles over the comms. 

“Get it, Tallmadge.” 

Ben's kissing him, crawling into his lap with his knees on either sides of his hips. Patterson has his hand on his back moving up and down, cupping his ass through his jeans then back up again. 

_“How'd he learn to do this?”_ Rob asks. 

“Damn. If I didn't know what I was looking at i’d be so turned on right now.”

“I know exactly what I'm looking at and-” 

“That's enough.” Caleb barks. He feels his face turn red and his heart hammering against his ribs as he watches Ben grind against the guy. “If you don't have something vital to say about the mission I don't want to hear it.” 

“Sorry, sorry, but look at it. Ain't it always the ones that look like they go to church every Sunday that know how to bring it?”

No one answers as Ben pulls away just to whisper. 

Patterson nods enthusiastically and Ben eases off of him and turns to briefly make eye contact with Caleb from across the room. He nods, letting him know he's okay before grabbing Patterson's hand. Patterson drapes himself across Ben's back, kissing his neck. 

“They're moving.” 

“Got it. Don't let them get to the exit.”

“Where else are they supposed to go?”

They wind their way through the club, Patterson behind Ben and Patterson’s men behind him. 

“What are we doing , Caleb?”

“Caleb?” 

Caleb can only see the way Ben's fingers are entwined with his and how his lips press against the thin skin beneath his ear. 

Caleb's burning up. 

“Ummm.”

“I lost visual. They went out the side door. Abe, you got anything.” 

Caleb snaps back. He was looking right at the when they left but did nothing. If anything happens to Ben it's on him. 

“Follow them, both of you. Billy, Mary, both of you get in here. Get a car around the side, that exit leads out to an alley, there's only one way out.”

Ben's going to die all alone in a dirty alley while house music plays inside the walls of the building. 

What then? What'll Caleb do then? He has no desire to keep working this job without his partner and has no desire to keep living without his best friend. 

By the time they push their way into the alley Patterson's men are lying face down, hands zip tied behind their backs and out cold. 

Ben has his knee in the middle of Patterson's back, holding Patterson’s elbow in a way that makes it seem like it's dislocated.

“Hey guys. Do one of you have a spare tie? I ran out.”

Abe hands one over then explodes in praise.

“That was...I mean…look at this. Look what you did, on your own, man, Ben, you are.”

“Yeah yeah.” Ben waves him off and stands, hauling Patterson up. He stand on his own but looks groggy and out of it. Ben pulls the flash drive from his pocket then pushes him towards Rob. “Take him and the rest of these guys. They probably need medical attention.” 

“Jesus, you think?” Billy laughs as he yanks one of the guys up, his nose bloodied and obviously broken. He hands the drive to Mary as she drags a guy with her. 

“That was easy.” He says to Caleb as he wipes his hands on his jeans. His knuckles are busted and his mouth is red and swollen, from lips instead of fists.

“What the fuck was that?” 

“What?” Ben laughs. “Patterson got a little handsy and I had to reinforce that no means no.” 

“Fuck you.”

Ben's smile fades. He clears his throat. “Why don't you guys give us a minute.”

But the steel door is already closing and they're alone in the alley. 

Ben puts his hands out, it's suppose to be a calming gesture but it only highlights the injuries on the backs of his hands and Caleb sees red. 

“You're not going to be happy until you're dead, are you? You can't help yourself.”

“I had it under control. I was never in danger.” 

“You're always in danger. Everything you do is dangerous and you don't care. You don't have any regard for your safety-.”

“That's the job.” 

“You took your earpiece out.”

“It would've given me away.”

“You left with him.”

“I think I handled it okay.”

There's a bloodstain on the pavement.

“The way you did it. You were all over him.”

“That's what's bothering you? That I kissed that guy?”

“Everything is bothering me. You can't keep acting like you're indestructible.” 

“It's worked pretty well so far.” 

“It hasn't.” Caleb explodes and jams his hand against Ben's chest, right over his heart, right over that scar. “Do you forget every dumbass thing you've done? Every time you've wanted to run straight into certain death just because you think it's your job. Fuck your job, Ben. Fuck your self destructive tendencies. I don't forget about them. I relive every mission, every moment you're out of my sight and out of my reach and I think about how easily things could’ve turned, how easily you could've been killed. I could wake up tomorrow and you could be dead by dinner time. What then? What am I supposed to tell your father?”

“I died for my country.”

He can't hear this.

“Fuck that. What am I supposed to do? I'm not going to be able to come back from that. I'll refuse to. I won't even try. If you go I'm going with you and you don't even care. You keep doing it. I try to keep you safe but you keep breaking out. I'm in love with you and you won't let me keep you alive. I'll do this forever but I'm running out of steam, I'm going to slip up and I don't get to you in time and I can't…” 

He gives up. Burns out. 

He should've stopped after he told him he was in love with him. 

Ben is staring at him.

He should've stopped before he told him he was in love with him. 

“Caleb.” 

“Forget it.” He wipes angrily at his eyes. When did he start crying? Maybe somewhere between the second and third fuck you. “I'm done. I'm tired and I don't think I can do this anymore.” 

Ben's reaching for him, long fingers wrapping around his wrist and Caleb knows what's coming. 

_You're my best friend, my partner. I love you but I'm not in love with you._

Caleb is weak. He has to do this before Ben rips his broken heart gently from his chest. 

He kisses him, hard against the brick wall of the building. 

Ben tangles his free hand in the front of Caleb's shirt- it's blood stained now but he doesn't care. 

He kisses him and kisses him until he's sure that the taste of Patterson is just a bitter memory before he slows and pulls away, Ben sighing and chasing Caleb's lips with his own for one more kiss.

“Let me down easy.” Caleb rolls his forehead against Ben’s and keeps his eyes closed. He can’t face him. 

“Why would I do that? If I had known this earlier…” He takes a deep breath and tightens his hand. “We could have been doing this.”

“You know everything.”

“I wasn’t sure. I was afraid.”

Caleb laughs. “You’re not afraid of anything.”

“I’ll be more careful.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Believe me,” He touches Caleb’s face, tips his head up to meet his lips. “I have so much to live for.”


End file.
